I’m over at Katherine Deane’s blog today, where Natasha, Katherine and I are talking about the differences between fantasy and reality. Writing the two genres is amazingly different and the struggles are very different, using my Otherworldly Discipline and Natasha’s Aching To Submit as examples. Each genre you choose to write has pitfalls that you might not even be aware of until you’re hip-deep in writing, so it’s always good to look at some of the pros and cons.
Also, we’re talking about reality of spanking relationships verse those you read about. I won’t ruin the surprise, but it was a really fun sort of interview to do. Thanks so much to Katherine for inviting us over to her place to gab!
So, all of you who are reading this and didn’t write me off completely can now welcome me back to the universe.
I feel like I just had a baby. I’m tired, I’m relieved, and I’m happy. Although I kept saying I was close–and I was–to done with the novel I finally finished up the last 20 thousand words to make this a done-bun. Now, it’s off to the editor so she can tell me what I’ve done wrong and then I’ll fix that, and then it’s out. Series complete!
Looking back, I don’t know why it was so hard. It was almost as if I kept finding the right path and then kept veering off the wrong way. I’d rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and would constantly change my opinion as to where I wanted the story to go. Back in late February I sat down and wrote the entire plot of the book, and I more or less stayed with that outline, although the characters sometimes needed to be stabbed back into what was expected from them. There were a lot of challenging scenes to write, and the plot has twists and turns that I needed to make sure it weaved back out of.
Hopefully those excuses work, because I’m stuck, other than that. I probably wrote a million words down and only have 93 thou to show you for the effort. I am glad you’re patient and have stuck with it! Expect the book to come out soon, as well as WAY more posts, since I was not cleared to do much of anything the last few months except get Otherworldly Discipline, 2 done outside of my regular Stormy Night work.
Thanks for your astounding patience, everyone!
Alrighty, so I’ve been quiet on the home front. As you can see from that climbing little bar in the corner, I am nearly done with Otherworldly Discipline 2 and I could not possibly be more excited about it. I’ll talk more later. I hope to have it done tomorrow and I’ll come to my blog and celebrate.
For now, there’s other things to celebrate! I’m so enthused that Natasha Knight let me interview her about this new contemporary suspense novels filled with all the good stuff I like–action, spankings, alpha-males, you name it. I wanted to pick her brain a bit on the experience of writing a suspense book in this genre! Here it is!
Your newest release, Dangerous Defiance, is a romantic suspense novel. How does writing this genre compare to writing others, like romantic contemporary or even paranormal? Does it have any aspects you’ve found challenging or even fun?
I think it was most different from romantic contemporary because I had to remind myself throughout about the action! When I do romantic contemporary, it is more focused on the characters and the emotions are what push the story along and here, it’s more the action with the emotion still there but toned down a little maybe? Paranormal is closer to romantic suspense to me – at least the paranormal I’ve written so far. It was definitely fun and the challenge was the research. I might hate research more than I hate editing.
What do you think makes a good hero?
For sure, tenderness. The physical hotness is just assumed in a romance – the big guy, intelligent, not afraid to be a man, but if he doesn’t have tenderness in his heart, as hot as a book can be, as sexy as a spanking can be, it’s missing something (for me at least) and that something is what makes a hero and a book memorable.
What’s your favorite scene in Dangerous Defiance?
This changes depending on the moment you ask but I really liked how Jackson and Jess kind of clicked – their banter was completely natural and fun. This scene happens just before Jess’s first spanking.
“What are you doing?” Jess asked, trying to pull away but not managing to free herself.
“I’m going to give you that spanking I felt too sorry to give you last night,” Jackson said with the most even, level tone.
“You’re joking,” she said, really pulling back now.
He turned to her when they reached the tree stump. “Do I look like I’m joking?”
No, he did not, in fact. Not one little bit. Alarm bells went off and Jess clutched her camera when he sat down.
“Get over my lap.”
Her eyebrows went up. Where was her gun when she needed it? “Pardon me?”
“You heard me, Agent. Over my lap.”
“Ok, that does it. The water is definitely contaminated and you’ve been drinking too much of it because you have obviously lost your mind,” she said, tugging but still failing to get free.
“I’m thinkin’ so too on the contamination, but that’ll have to wait a minute. One more time,” he said, gesturing for her to lay herself across his lap.
She looked at it, at his powerful thighs, his big hands which suddenly resembled paddles. She wondered if she should be afraid or furious or… something. But she only looked at him and her heart rate remained somehow level. This was almost… comical. Sheriff Jackson Montgomery was going to spank her? Out here in the open? Her? An FBI agent?
“I really don’t think so, Sheriff,” she said with a chuckle.
“Suit yourself,” he said and with a dexterity she would not have imagined from a man built like him, he relieved her of her camera and tugged on her arm while his other hand gripped her waist, and the next thing she knew, she was lying face down across his lap, her hands on the ground, her feet kicking up a storm.
What’s your next project?
I’m going to be a complete tease and tell you I’ve got one secret project going which is a little different than anything I’ve done so far. Well, maybe very different but that depends on how things progress from here. I’m curious to see it myself! More to come on that later… Besides that, I love a firefighter so I’m writing one who spanks. A couple of others too but those are too new to mention really.
Would you say you have a specific writing method?
Yep, sit down, start writing and hope for the best. I’ve never been a planner and this goes for pretty much everything for me!
What is the allure for you in adding spankings to your books?
First, I like spankings! That part is easy. I’ve found that through writing it, I can figure out what aspects draw me to it so maybe that is the allure, the self study piece.
I started to write this to just get it out of my head and not want it anymore – I didn’t even know what a spanko was at that point. I had three offers within four days of submitting my first ever piece (which thank goodness the contract ran out on and is safely out of reach because it’s terrible!!). It didn’t work out the way I had thought though! Writing it just made me want it more. It was some months after that I told my husband about it at all and in the time since, writing spanking romance is just natural and quite frankly, fun. I think that’s key. Someone asked me once when I was going to start writing another genre and was I bored yet but I can easily say that no, I’m not bored. I still love writing spanking romances – it’s still absolutely exciting to start a new story every single time.
Nell had graduated top of her class ten years ago, and had always thought of herself as the smartest cookie in her class. In fact, she’d fancied herself the smartest person in any and every room she’d ever entered.
So why, when her life literally depended on it, was the only thing she could think of was, ‘That is a mighty big bear that’s about to eat me!’ coupled with a meager instinct to run in a manner reserved for women in snowshoes trying to outrun a very angry grizzly bear.
She didn’t even have time to evaluate the irony that she was just telling herself that getting lost in the middle of the Canadian wilderness was about as bad as it could get. Wrong-o.
Possibly if she could think beyond the moment, she would decide that running in a dead-sprint into a deep, dark cave was a poor idea, even in the case of bear-survival, and screaming like a banshee as she did it.
There were, and are, thousands of similar caves in that part of Canada alone, and the bear and wolf population in those caves are actually pretty high, especially in the time of year when female bears are hibernating with their young. Nell knew this—she had done a report on bears in the fifth grade. She couldn’t remember even a single factoid from it at the moment. The more wild part of her brain she was just becoming acquainted with assured her that if the cave had a part that the grizzly could not fit into and chase her, then she had a fighting chance.
To her horror, the cave was so dark that she couldn’t find any such quarters and ran smack into a wall, flatting her to her back. Hopefully you’re not surprised that there was, indeed, a bear in that cave other than the one chasing her. I think all of us saw that one coming.
However, the next part would have been a surprise even to a smart girl like Nell when she wasn’t being chased by a bear.
Because of the dark, it was very hard to see what was going on except for the light filtering through the cave-hole. She got drooled on and a chunk of fur fell on her face, and she was very concerned with keeping her hands over her face, blocking out all of the action.
When she heard a bear scream and then a shadow disappear back out the way of the cave entrance, she was less than thrilled about the dying she was going to have to do. She hadn’t been thrilled about that for awhile, since she’d been lost in the woods and snow out there for at least seven hours and had realized (before the bear) that she was going to die unless she had a reserve of good luck she hadn’t been previously privy to.
Instead, she heard the sound of a man say, “Goddamn it!”
Well, that was unexpected. It was certainly growlish and deep like a bear, but it was definitely English words. She threw her hands from her face and looked around. She couldn’t see anything. “Hello?”
“Damn it, that hurt,” said the man, and then a light turned on from around the corner. Apparently, this cave wasn’t a cave, so much as a home for what she could only assume was a hobo that owned a pet bear somewhere. His silhouette suddenly stepped into the light. “You alright?” The visage stepped forward, and she could almost make out his dirty jeans and a flannel shirt.
She didn’t say anything for a second, trying to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating the whole ordeal. “Urrgh,” she said, making a round like a wounded ferret. “Urroo…”
The man stepped forward and knelt down next to her. “Injured?”
She shook her head, although the evidence did point, as fair as she was concerned, towards a serious concussion. “Did you…” she began asking it before her brain could stop her, “Turn into a bear?”
“No,” he grunted, and then slowly picked her up and pulled her to her feet. The man was gigantic, over six and a half feet tall. He was strong and well-chisteled, even, except for the blood that was oozing down his face from a deep slice in his nose.
She would have shrunk away from him if he didn’t radiate a delicious sort of heat. She smiled, as if she was silly to even ask, but then he said, “I turned into a man.”
“Oh.” Her mind began to do sommersaults, and her stomach followed suit. It felt like her entire being was being overloaded with what had happened. “Excuse me,” she said, holding up a finger so she turn and dry-heave against the side of the cave.
Bear-man put his hands around her and eventually led her back into the more lighted portion of the cave. It was more like an apartment in this part, especially when he pulled a door across the small walkway, shutting them out from the cold of the rest of the cave.
“You must have been hauling tail with those,” he finally said after about five minutes of silence. She was surprised to see that the man was smiling… And he was sort of handsome—in a mountain-main sort of way. “Must have been something to see. You’re lucky, though. If that bear wasn’t already injured, he would have had no trouble running you down in less than a blink.”
She blinked at him until he waved his hand in front of her face. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked her, raising a dark eyebrow.
She shook her head and shivered. “No. I don’t know what okay is anymore. It’s been a rough day.” What else, after all, was she supposed to say to a bear-man? She squinted at him with confusion. “Why are you grinning like that?”
“Sorry. I’ll get you somethin’ hot to drink. I actually have some coffee around here…” He looked around a shelving unit made from crates until he found the desired bag and brought it around to the gas cooker on the far side of the room, saying, “It’s just that… Well, not many people have seen me change. None have taken it so well.”
“I dry-heaved,” she admitted. “And I am owning most of this up to the cold, exhaustion, and shock. Really, I don’t think any of this is happening.”
He gave a laugh. “Well, we’ll get you warm and fed for now. First thing in the morning I’ll bring you down to the town. What’s brought you out here so far? I sometimes go months without hearing anyone this time of year.”
“Do you… live here?” She began to pull off her gloves and looked over her stiff, frozen fingers with pink nail polish.
“Can’t live in town. I guide hiking tours in the summer, then I hole up here. Sometimes I can’t control the change well, and I don’t want to go bear right in the middle of a pie-eating competition, if you get my meaning,” he said easily, but then he didn’t let the question go. “And you? What on this green earth has a girl like you, with nail polish and makeup and the whole bit—all the way up here? You’re miles off any trail.”
“Funny,” she grumbled, “I was just wondering the same thing.” She rolled her eyes after the bear-man kept his eyebrows raised, obviously expecting more of an explanation than she had given. “Snow-shoe hike gone horribly wrong. My friends are sort of adventure-types and wanted me to go on this with them. Said I’d love it.” She frowned. “I’ve been on much more fun things.”
“You wanna give ‘em a call with your emergency phone? Just to tell them you know where you are now and you’ll be in town before noon tomorrow.”
She snorted. “If I had an emergency phone, I wouldn’t be out here by myself,” she assured.
Now he was the one frowning. “So… you brought emergency supplies—extra blanket and stuff like that, right?”
His eyes grew dark. “Where you from, again?”
“Seattle.” Her lips puckered as she grew quickly defensive. “Don’t give me that look! How was I to know I’d get lost?” Deep down, she knew that this whole thing was a cluster screw even before she had to be picked up by a man who had some serious issues.
He gave a low growl and, as if re-realizing that his nose was still bleeding, pulled a handerchief up to his nose. His eyes barely left hers—they were accusing.
“Fine. It was dumb. I got chased by a bear for it, and now I’m rethinking my confidence in natural law.”
“Honey, if I wasn’t there to save your miserable hide, you’d be food right now. Keep that in mind that I put my neck out there. I looked prettier before this mess.”
“And thank you, bear guy,” she sighed with exasperation.
“Hooper. My name’s Hooper,” he told her.
“Nell,” she replied, but was pursing her lips. “Look, can you stop looking at me like I’m a kid that got caught playing ball in the house? I’m sort of beyond the age of lecturing.”
Another growl, and he stirred the coffee. She watched him, pulled off her coat, and eventually got comfortable on his sofa until he clapped his hands, signaling he was done with the job.
She really hadn’t expected him to walk over to her, grab her arm, and drag her over his knee, and even when he did, she couldn’t quite comprehend why until his hand began to fly down over the seat of her jeans.
She was filled more with indignity than anything else. The last time she’d been spanked was when she came home with her last ‘F’ in the fourth grade. “You might be beyond the age of lecturing, honey girl, but you’re never too old to be taught a good lesson,” he gritted.
Do not go snow-shoeing in Canada without survival supplies, do not stand upwind from bears, and do not antagonize a shape-shifter. It was a day of lessons.
“Ouch!” she screamed, and then reached around like she was a wild animal to attempt to bite him. It all ended in a short-lived struggle that ended up with the wall-sized man pinned her hand behind her back and breaking the seam in her snow pants in the attempt to pull them down.
She was screaming, of course, but knew there was nobody probably on this whole mountain that could hear her even if she was swearing and fighting a million times louder than she was.
The worst part was that when she was sprawled bear-assed across him, the pain wasn’t the only thing she was worried about. She was worried about if he thought her ass was attractive. Not that it should matter—there were surely a whole list of things baring a relationship or rendezvous since he was a bear from Alaska and she was a nurse anesthetist from Seattle, but admittedly the thought of her ass, and his consideration of it, did jump into her mind.
“You’re going to kill me!” she heaved, out of breath from being hauled over his strong thighs. She was beginning to cry… Which was odd. She hadn’t done that even when she thought she was going to freeze to death.
She couldn’t help her embarrassment, and the spanking seemed to make it that much worse. “Please!” she cried.
He grunted again and then sighed before pulling her off his knees and into the sofa. “Sorry about that,” he grunted. “I have this thing about females, and safety, and I get a little crazy,” he admitted softly. “I don’t know you well enough to do that to you.”
She wiped some hot tears from the corner of her eye and swallowed. Hooper, and she didn’t know him well, didn’t seem like the type to apologize lightly. Strangely, though, the apology sort of sounded like if he knew her better, he would have spanked her harder.
She looked around, feeling a little sorry for him. Chances were, looking at his hobo-like existence, that he didn’t know anyone very well. Yet he still rushed in to save her anyway. She eyed the cut on his nose and chewed her lip.
“I bet you’re about the rag me out for being macho,” he grumbled, sounding upset at himself. “I’m not saying that what you did wasn’t worth spankin’ for, but maybe—”
“Actually,” she said, reaching behind her to see the damage of her pants, “I was just going to ask you for a cup of that coffee and a warm pair of pants…” At his surprised look, she shrugged, “Priorities are priorities.”
He slowly broke into a boyish grin. “So you don’t want to run out the door screaming yet?” he asked, already getting up to fetch what she asked for.
She shook her head, trying to ignore the tingling pain in her ass that was making her face go red. “Not yet. But the night’s not over yet.”
Thanks for reading my short story (which I kept at 2,000 words–wow, that goes by in a wink…)! Now for the prizes!
James actually asked me to write this because he wants to try out a new set of shifter books with bears instead of wolves like usual. I think he was also a bit inspired by Beorn (from The Hobbit). SO please do comment, BUT also fill out the form below so we can judge interest. Add your email to the list, and then using Rafflecopter, that email might be the winner of a $20 Amazon Gift Card!
Thanks so much for all of you who filled out my questionaire for the prize! It was a fantastic turnout with a huge number of applicants! Tomorrow I’ll be in contact with the winner of the $20 prize for this blog!
7. Casey McKay
9. Renee Rose
10. Lily Harlem
11. Cara Bristol
12. Adaline Raine
14. Celeste Jones
17. Sue Lyndon
20. Maddie Taylor
21. Liv Honeywell
23. Sadey Quinn
25. Paige Tyler
26. Thianna D
27. Emily Tilton
28. PK Corey
30. Lucy Felthouse
31. Paloma Beck
32. Kristin Elyon
35. Johnna Maquire
44. Jaye Peaches
45. Dinah McLeod
46. Daizie Draper
47. Draven St. James
49. Shoshanna Evers
51. We Love Kink
52. 1950s Wife
53. Shelly Douglas
55. Penelope Hasler
Alright, so I got tagged by a couple of people in a little facebook sort of chain letter that was really cool. The idea was this: list 10 books that impacted you in some way. You weren’t supposed to think very hard on this, but let’s face it, I spent the next week wondering what I’d put on my list. The idea on facebook is that you didn’t have to explain why certain books made your list, you just listed them out and let people read into it what they will. Anyway, thank you so much for tagging me, Constance Masters (and Mary Sue Wehr for putting me on your list, as well. You two gals are the sweetest things, and I’m so flattered that you mentioned my books)!
Anywhoo, I didn’t want to do a facebook post on this without an explanation (because then it’d be a LONG status update), because it made me flashback to college when everybody was claiming their favorite book was “Dante’s Inferno” in this name-excessive on the first day. When it came to me, I said, “My name is Korey and–without a doubt–The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” People bawked and started laughing and I shrugged and leaned back, continuing, “Well, really just up to the forth. For some reason ‘Mostly Human’ was hard to get through. I think Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy stood above the rest…” People thought I was an idiot for a couple of days for it. One’s favorite book is a very personal thing that I think says a lot about someone, but the reason behind why someone likes a particular book can’t be lost to translation.
Anyway, Natasha Knight is way smarter than me, because obviously she was thinking the same thing (about wanting to explain her list, for some reason HGTTG didn’t make her list, but I like to think that’s because she hasn’t read it yet…) Anyway, Natasha had the idea of not just making a facebook post, but making it a whole blog post. So, as you can see, I’m totally stealing her idea. She’s pretty cool though, so I think she’ll forgive me for blatantly copying her. 😉
And because I never use 5 words when I could use 50, mine’s super-duper long. Sorry ’bout that. 😉
| The Paperbag Princess by Robert Munsch
This was one of those books that my mother gave me, hoping to turn me into a feminist warrior princess. I have to say, that no other children’s book hit me that hard. It was great, I liked it, it does have a feminist message, but it was there that I understood what I wanted in a man. From there, I knew how to write book heroes. I also knew that the best female heroines are strong, savy, but they can be multi-layered. Anyway; strangely it taught me a lot about characterization at a young age–which was handy because I was already writing books and fan-fictions since I was five–but it also taught me that men are supposed to value, respect, and honor a woman, and fuck them if they don’t.
This book mostly taught me about high-jinks and putting blatant sarcasm into any novel and it go over well. Huckleberry Finn didn’t strike me the same way, because it’s not my writing style. I find first-person narrative to be extremely, extremely difficult. The third-person narrative with a sense of humor, though, I can get behind and always try to emulate.
This is the type of book that makes you need to change your pants. It’s so beyond the skill level of anyone who’s lived in the last three-hundred years that it’s like it was written by a supernatural being. That being said, I wrote all over my edition, and that’s even when my copy had 1 inch of text and 10 inches of footers under it. It actually helped me back on course in my personal religious journey. I found it was the first time my puny mind could even pin-prick the idea of the omniscient, and the idea of God’s love and sacrifice and relationship towards us as his creation, and giving even Lucifer a strange sort of role that made you somewhat understand how evil could have been born in the world. I’m not saying I believe it verbatim or anything, but it’s a book that made me consider the fact that I might not know shit from shinola about anything. I had to question everything. It nearly made my brain explode. This book is a masterpiece.
This is one of those books that I liked, then I hated, then I loved, all through the coarse of the first-reading of it. I actually had to read this as an assignment when I was fifteen, and it’s the first book that I read where I read a line that made me stand up, scream, “Holy Shit!” and the run through the house, wondering where my sanity went. I felt like Charles Dickens himself came up about 4/5ths of the way through the book and hit me with a cricket bat. I mean, the story and character weaving is on a whole different level! It seemed too complex to get, and then everything just fell beautifully into place, and it was just jaw-dropping.
Call it tripe if you wish–I know I keep calling it trip, myself–but I keep re-reading the book over and over and over. There’s head-hoping, the plotting’s a little sloppy, but damn it, does she (Jane Austin) know how to write characters. They don’t do a whole lot in the book except chat and drink tea, and I still love the hell out of it. It’s funny, sarcastic, but utterly wonderful. I love happy-sighing when I’m reading.
I’ve re-read this every five years or so. I know, it might seem like a random choice, but hear me out–I love being fed random facts about science, history, nature, or anything else, while still being delighted with a fast-moving plot, excellent characters with great dynamics, witty banter, great villains, all by an author with great imagination. It’s like eating candy while it still being good for you. It gives me excellent brain-fodder and also sparks my desire to go out and learn and research new things. That, and I like Ian Malcolm. A lot.
You might have known this one was coming. I could really wax poetic about Douglas Adams all day long, but here’s the gist–the guy is like the superman of English sarcasm. Sometimes he makes me laugh so hard I feel like I’m gonna pee. That being said, my fascination goes deeper than that–he makes delicious characters and humorous dialogue in his characters, but his narrator’s always second to none. Dirk Gently and the Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul is also fabulous. He has great pacing, fantastic imagination, and puts a million one-liner jokes in every book. I feel he showed me the way when it comes to dialogue… Not that I’m anywhere in the ballpark, but I’d REALLY like to be in that ballpark before I die.
I haven’t read this in a long time, but I remember how deeply it touched me when I read it. This was another assignment-read, I grant you, but I’m glad he assigned it. It was part of this unit on existentialism, and I think a companion read to this would be Camus’ essay on The Myth of Sisyphus which basically says the same thing without putting its reader into a depression. Essentially it’s about this complete sociopath that can’t feel attachment to anyone–he is an innocent product of the world who can only feel with his body; he doesn’t seem to care about anything or have a soul. What got me crying for two days straight is that at the end of the book, I felt like the loss of hope was the loss of existence. Hope is the guiding light of everybody’s life. Hope is what presses us forward… Anyway, it really touched me to the bottom of my heart and I was filled with so much compassion for him. It sort of changed the way I view people and how I judge people as well.
I know what you’re thinking: “You can’t put a whole series in there, Korey. Jesus! Didn’t you get the assignment?” Firstly, I’m already cheating. Secondly, you can’t just put one book. Patrick O’Brien does not write plots, per se. He writes life. I feel like he has the ability to transport me back into time, turns me into a fly, and sticks me to a wall. The conversations are so real. There’s a lot of adventure, but the novels sort of flow one into the next without any real climax or resolution. It’s just history, and people, and how they sometimes pass in and out of one’s lives, sometimes dying or sometimes going through massive heartbreak or elation. Reading it was almost an out-of-body experience; it’s hard to explain, but I really got into these and all the amazing historical details of living through the Napoleonic wars. Most of all…. I likes me a bro-mance.
| The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
Now, Mere Christianity basically rocked my world after college and helped round off my actually being a Christian, so that’s big. But nearly two decades before that point, I read this as a kid and, even though I was really young, the Christian symbolism wasn’t lost on me. I was about four when this book was read to me when I was a kid, and the notion of self-sacrifice was a huge thing to me. It pressed upon me notions of forgiveness and all that. Now, I appreciate it for it’s exceptional story-telling. This is not a long book, but I always feel so attached to the characters. It’s just down-and-dirty good-verse-evil stuff with excellent themes that still get me thinking to this day. If only I could make an allegory like that. Also, it was obvious that Lewis was making a Christian allegory, but I feel he did it without being exhausting or beating anyone over the head. I see a lot of people try to write allegories or make important points in books, and it sounds like nagging. CS new his stuff. That being said, the rest of the series was horrible.
I know, I know, there’s no spanking stories on the list. Certainly, I read a lot of them, and I re-read and re-read again some of them. Some of them will arouse me, tantalize, excite, even change my outlook on sexuality a bit and get me curious to read more. Darla Phelps got me interested in Ageplay with ‘The Pets Series”, Laura Smith got me into threesomes with “The Sam McGee” series. So many authors in the spanking genre are beyond fabulous, and so many of them have also structured the way I write and the way I look at things. I think I chose these books because they opened my eyes, made huge adjustments to my writing style, and sometimes impacted my soul, lifestyle, or the way I saw the universe, or how I live my life.
Now, what would YOUR big ten be?
Welcome to the Round Table. I’ve lurked around the last couple, so I was happy to join in this time. Spanking Romance (a promotional site run by Renee Rose and funded by Blushing Books) sets it up, and each time it’s hosted by a different member of the community who keeps us on track and thinks of the discussion questions. It’s not easy, so I want to thank this Round Table’s hostess, Corinne Alexander upfront for doing an amazing job. She invited me personally, and I really thank her for reaching out to me and helping me get the guts to join this one, since I need an extra kick in the ass.
This round table discussion is about DD. Being in a DD relationship for 6 years has made me really excited about this issue and so interested in what the others will have to say. Remember, I write purely based on my own experiences, which have led to my current opinions and insights. All my opinions might be changed tomorrow, but my experiences won’t.
Experience has been a real eye-opener. See, when I was a preteen, I found out about DD and started to fantasize about it. Based on those fantasies, I decided that it was the type of relationship and lifestyle I wanted. I think I fantasized it to be the easiest lifestyle in the world, one that would make my life fall happily into place once it was implemented. My husband would conquer and tame me, we would never fight, and he would always be right, and I’d enjoy my punishments far more than I should.
That fantasy actually held strong for nearly ten years—in my defense, I lived very free from DDers or the kinkster community. I lived, and went to college in, Vanilla-ville, and certainly never brought up the topic with any of my friends.
My friends would have to be told what DD was before they could begin with their objections. And they would object. When I eventually told them about it, they wondered why on earth I’d fantasize about abuse (which was all DD was in their minds), eventually concluding that I was just extremely sexually depraved. Even today some of them still seem to think that James brainwashed me, even though they know I found him after I talked to them about it.
You see, when many vanillas look upon DD in terms of a long-term lifestyle, they see only potential negative consequences. Here’s what they’ll probably think the participants’ lives and roles in the relationship will look like in the future:
Head of Household (Top, Husband)
Submissive (Bottom, Wife)
I totally understood why my friends were concerned, I just figured that they were 100% wrong and didn’t know what they were talking about—that I had the right of it. Later on, after meeting a lot of kinksters and those who want a DD relationship, I discovered that I wasn’t alone in my hopes, dreams, and beliefs surrounding the lifestyle. I think even in the community of people who know about DD, and who want to be in a similar relationship, many people think that DD has more power to change their lives than it does.
It was a tall order—and the weird thing is even when reality washed through, I ended up with a lot of my list! James is bigger and stronger than me, he can hold me down for a spanking, and he is the most smart, responsible, and dedicated man I know.
But I digress.
My experience quickly showed that I don’t actually like getting spanked—well, not for discipline. I will go to great lengths to avoid it, and neither of us get turned on by a real disciplinary spanking in real-time. (Later in the day or down the road we might look back on it and call it ‘hot’, but we really don’t think that at the time.)
And you know what? That’s the point! Discipline = Not Fun… but that’s the way it had to be for me for this to work. If he went around looking for reasons to spank me, or if I didn’t respond the way he wanted me to, this lifestyle would have been dead within months.
If James even took a fraction of the opportunities he’s come across to discipline me, I would probably have felt beaten down. I make a spanking-worthy mistake every other day! So, James now only spanks me for more extreme offenses. Things we’ve discussed before a million times, etc.
It would feel unfair to me that James never gets punished except that he holds himself steadfastly to a high standard. It’s hard to get angry at him, because he gets so apologetic and angry at himself when he messes up.
That being said, we do fight. Discipline can’t always be pulled out to resolve conflict. And as with every relationship—there will be conflict. There will be angry words and tears and you will have to learn what not to say as well as what to say to make your relationship work. You have to learn to choose your battles and compromise. It’s hard work, and it’s worth it. But DD isn’t a procedure that anyone can perform on their marriage and it be a cure all, because in the wrong hands, or in the hands of people that have unrealistic expectations for their partner, DD can lead to an unhappy and unhealthy relationship.
The big mistake I was making in my initial DD fantasies was that I imagined the relationship would be completely focused on me—I would live for me, and the HoH would live for me.
You need to be living for each other’s happiness. If you can get happiness while your partner’s not happy, then DD is probably not for you. It can destroy your relationship. Even when your HoH disciplines, he can’t be happy about it. If he was happy about having to cause you unhappiness, you might have a situation on your hands. That’s not the recipe for a good DD relationship, or any good relationship at all.
But here’s the good news—in my experience, at least—about DD.
It can help you prove your trust & dedication for your partner.
Not a lot of couples have the ability to show their trust for each other in the way DD does and as often as it does. DD is one partner gaining power and responsibility from the other to do the right thing, and it’s acknowledged from both sides. Every time discipline is performed, the trust is refreshed—you give it over / receive it again. I think the frequency of this helps intimacy and the bond of a relationship as well as the self-confidence of the HoH and both get to show that they trust the strength of their bond, making it stronger each and every time.
It raises the standard.
James can make me be a better wife. He makes sure I do what I’ve agreed to do in our partnership and that I actually do what I’ve vowed to do, like be a good helpmate to him. However, he has to hold himself to a higher standard to be able to honestly believe he deserves the responsibility to discipline me—he always strives to be a better husband.
We’ve all seen War of the Roses, but surprisingly a lot of people war with their husband in their own—normally less crazy—ways. “Oh, he bought himself a new car without asking me, so I get to buy this new wardrobe without telling him,” or “If she can’t be bothered to make dinner, then I’m not gonna bother to take out the trash.” I don’t have to deal with that. If what I did is bad enough, he should spank me. If it wasn’t so bad that he spanked me, then it’s not worth getting in a twist over. He should let it go—and he usually does—and then we move on. Me? All I have to do is say, “You wouldn’t let me do that!” and if it is true, James, horrorstruck, will normally concede. It’s actually quite freeing not having resentments brewing inside of us.
Okay, when it comes to things that ‘resolve’ behavior, it’s done fast. I mean, for most things it’s less than five minutes of spanking. Resentment and disappointment normally last much longer.
I should probably add at this point that I think that those reasons alone are enough. We think it’s helped our relationship and our closeness, strengthening our friendship, partnership, and intimacy.
But do we think it’s for everyone? No. It’s all about personalities, individuals, and their own personal strengths and weaknesses. Masochists may need something other than spanking for discipline, for example. If one’s husband is having trouble disciplining himself with his money or responsibilities, then he might still be a fantastic, loving husband, but may not be the best candidate to be the HoH and the disciplinarian.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?!
This is a round-table discussion, so click on the links below to go to the next discussion about DD. For readers and lurkers, though, please comment! I never know what to comment myself, so if you’re stumped, here’s some questions!!
For those in a DD relationship, how does the reality of the relationship compare to what you anticipated beforehand? For those interested in DD, what would be your hopes, fears, and expectations in a DD relationship?
This is a Blog Hop!
I know it looks like I all but disapeared, but believe you me, it couldn’t be helped. I just had the most busy spring, summer, and now fall of my life. It doesn’t seem like I have any time to do anything, and my blogging has very much been left behind.
Here’s some things I’ve been up to:
As I plan to start having children in the near future, I’ve sort of looked at this as the last year to hang out with other spankos, to get to know them, and to know what they want. Sometimes I feel like a space alien with a clipboard watching an experiment with interest. Not that I’m not a spanko, too. I enjoy getting spanked at parties, and there are some people I really look forward to getting spanked by and interacting with.
BBW was in late march, FMS (Florida Moonshine) the first week of June, TASSP I couldn’t get to because it started only 1 1/2 weeks later, but the Crimson Moon was in July, and Shadowlane was the last week of August. So, we had to struggle to get work done between so we didn’t have to work very much during the parties–since there’s no time. Every minute of your time at a party is spoken for.
This year it was particularly important for us to go to as many parties as possible because we plan to start our family this year and worried we wouldn’t be able to go to a party for a couple of years because of babies and breastfeeding, etc, that sort of anchors a mother at home. Also, a lot of guys would be creeped out by spanking a pregnant chick. Not that there’s anything wrong with being pregnant, guys just keep squeamish or flatly don’t want to hurt the baby, which is admirable. Truly, I don’t know if the doctor would even let me go.
I digress. I had some great scenes this year, and met some great people and made some steadfast friendships. I so wish I lived in a more scene-friendly location than ABQ, NM–nobody that goes to parties resides there, so I always come home and feel lonely and increasingly uneasy around my vanilla friends, who I go back to hiding my life away from. That seems extremely lamentful–my life is really fantastic, but I do tend to leave parties with a more and more intense feeling of loneliness.
Many of the people who go are actually tough to just hang out with, however, even if I had lived close to them. ‘Camp friends’ are people who go completely vanilla outside of the party scene, and some of these people are the best people at parties, because they’re really normal and grounded. That being said, you can’t keep life-long close friendships with them outside of the scene, which also is a point of sadness. That being said, it makes me only more greatful when I do get to see party friends outside of the party–it makes it so my heart fills with that much more warm fuzzies for them. They don’t HAVE to see me more than at parties, but the fact that they want to couldn’t make me feel better. I just had dinner at a spanking friend’s house last night with her and her boyfriend and we had a fantastic time girl-talking and I so hope I get to return the hospitality today. I’m still filled with warm fuzzies!
That’s where I am now–doing a tour. It’s been amazing fun and we’ve been working as we went, but it’s not always easy. Internet is always tough to find on the go, and poor James makes a habit of working until 4 or 5 am and getting up three hours later to eat breakfast with me. Poor guy. Still, he’s been a great sport and we’ve been doing enough activity that I’ve been tuckered out every evening.
One of the biggest reasons I haven’t been blogging is because I’ve been writing. Otherworldly Discipline 2 has well passed its deadline and I’m still nowhere near done. It’s been a very hard-to-write novel, but I pray everyone’s patient with it. Sometimes I run into walls with not the plot–because I chart that out–but getting the character to flow along that plotline. I’ve therefore changed and rechanged, and then brought it back to the original, then changed it again, several times. Hopefully it will be done soon. I’ve been working on it so much that the SIDE novel I was working on during breaks came out over a month ago. I was amazed by the success, and I thank you all who’ve read Being Their Baby. Thanks for all the kind and positive words, reviews, and emails–you know how to get a girl back on the computer. I’m getting spoiled by all your good-treatment and I want to keep everyone happy, so I’ll come out with another book as soon as I can. 😉
So, James and I were co-hosting a huge weekend-long bash at Shadowlane, and I have so much to share about everything that’s happened this summer. It’s spankalicious–seriously, I’ve been trudging knee-deep in the spanking community, so keep your ear to the track. Until then, I talk about post-BBW ageplaying with my husband over at Spanking Romance, run by Renee Rose. All those curious about kink exploration, come and join in!
I’m stoked! My newest book, Being Their Baby, is doing very well and I’m #29 in Amazon’s Erotica Category at the moment (#737 in Kindle overall)! Whoot! Thanks so much for all your support, you guys! I really give my warmest thanks to everyone who’s bought that book!
Today, I’m over at Natasha Knight’s blog (Natasha Knight is amazingly awesome and a very talented author so I was so proud to be invited over to her blog) talking about how fun Being Their Baby was to write. Go come by and leave a comment!
Published: August 7, 2013 by Stormy Night Publications
Book Length: 93,366 words
Born and raised in a broken home on the wrong side of town, Sophie spent her childhood fighting to keep a roof over her head, and at eighteen she was homeless and without a single person she could trust or admire… until she met Liz, Charlie, and Josh.
Though they are both deeply in love with Liz, Charlie and Josh know that something is lacking in their lives: a baby girl to cherish, care for, and, when necessary, discipline. When Sophie gets herself in trouble with the law and needs help and a place to stay, they soon discover that she is just what they have been missing and, more importantly, they can be the family she never had.
Almost before she knows what is happening, Sophie finds herself living a life she never would have imagined. She begins to realize that having a big, strong daddy, a strict but caring mommy, and a handsome, fun-loving uncle might not be a bad thing at all. As she adjusts to her new home and begins to show her feisty side, though, Sophie learns that when she is disobedient she will be punished.
Liz, Charlie, and Josh are fully prepared to keep Sophie in line, even if that means showing their baby girl that there are plenty of very embarrassing ways to discipline a young lady when she has been really naughty, and that if her behavior is bad enough, her blushing cheeks will more than match the color of her bright red, well-spanked bare bottom.
Publisher’s Note: Being Their Baby is a full-length erotic novel that includes spankings, anal play, graphic sexual scenes, exhibitionism, age play, elements of medical play and BDSM, and much more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.
Another Saturday, another spanking. I’ve actually been gone the last few weekend getting high-jinks in and doing much-needed “research” at spanking parties. It’s been a really great time and I can’t wait for the next… But deadlines are deadlines which means that between the merriment I’ve had on the spanking scene, I actually have to get these damn books written. I’m writing both this Ageplay and Otherworldly Discipline, Book 2 simultaneously. Let’s just say there hasn’t been a second of boredom around here.
So, here’s another look at the ageplay I’ve been working on. It’s about a new girl who comes into a triad polyamorous relationship where she has three partners who loves age-play; her main girlfriend, Liz, who plays the “mommy” role, and Liz’s two boyfriends–one who loves playing the ‘Daddy’ role in a serious 24/7 way and the other who’s a Daddy-Dom type but is mostly just up to spoiling the main girl, Sophie, who comes from the other side of the tracks.
Sophie’s not used to being taken care of, and she’s certainly not used to her new “family” buying things for her. When Daddy Charlie finds out she’s been hiding an infected tooth–one that’d been causing her agony for a couple of weeks–she threw a fit because she didn’t want him to pay for the procedure that would fix it, even though she couldn’t pay for it herself. She’s ever-frightful of her new family viewing her like a leech. She simply can’t understand that one of the things they actually enjoy doing is being able to spoil their ‘Babygirl’ rotten.
Right now, she’s about to get a hair-brushing. It will be her second spanking–the first was horrible enough and she’d gotten it with the hand. This is from Charlie’s point-of-view where he’s comparing her a little bit to his last ‘Babygirl’ who he’d never been able to get to react this way to punishment–the other girl liked being spanked too much. Sophie’s another story.
Remember this is so short because Saturday Spankings is tradionally 8 sentences long. I took a little liberty since some of the sentences here are so short.
And just that easily, Sophie was sobbing. She hadn’t even gone over the knee yet; she apparently remembered how horrible it was when it was just Liz’s hand and up in her bedroom. She was one girl who wanted to avoid this at all costs.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be difficult! I didn’t!” she cried, melting to the floor. It was a lie—Sophie had been difficult, it had been on purpose, and she had known where it would lead her. He had warned her as much the day before that Liz wouldn’t appreciate the tantrum she was practically throwing in the dentist’s office, claiming that a root canal would never happen. He told her she was going to be sorry later on. And then he had called Liz, because his threatening wasn’t working with her at all.
“Sophia Lynn, we’re simply not going to do this every time you earned yourself a spanking,” Liz sighed, getting up and walking over to the Sophie, who was doing her best impression of a puddle.
Don’t forget to get more snippets of spanking stories that are coming out, have come out in the past, or will come out provided by your favorite spanking authors!
2. Thianna D
5. Lily Harlem.
8. Renee Rose
10. Casey McKay
11. Paloma Beck
I know, I know. I’ve gotten emails from y’all and I will reply to each and every one. It’s been a mad-scramble to get everything ready to go to BBW (Boardwalk Badness Weekend) so that we didn’t have to work while we were there… And that tended to be very brilliant because there was only dialup (WTF, right? I didn’t even know dialup still was around! Ah, well) at the hotel and the 3 Starbucks we tried in Atlantic City were internet no-gos. So I apologize, but not that much. My hands, as they say, were tied.
Back to the fun stuff: bragging about the spanking party YOU GUYS didn’t get to go to. I plan to make you green with envy, so watch out.
First of all, it was the best weekend ever. I still haven’t come “down” from how amazing of a weekend it was. From Thursday morning until we caught the plane on Monday, it was non-stop joy, spanking style. There was even a “Strap of Joy”, as Pandora Blake called it, but I digress.
BBW was amazing, and this is coming from someone who normally doesn’t come out from under her rock. I’m an agoraphobic, admittedly. I don’t ‘party’… Normally. But there was something about the whole thing that made me party my ass off. I think spankings have to be involved for me to rock. It wasn’t my first spanking party (it was my third), but I think I have to say it was my favorite. I loved meeting up with all my old friends while adding so, SO many new ones. It was so well organized, the energy everywhere was intoxicating, and there was so much to do that boredom was impossible.
And there were so many hot guys at this party you could get a crick in your neck from all the head-spinning you’d be doing just to check them out. It doesn’t matter the age, there were just so many attractive people–men and women–that it made me a little giddy.
Many of you, my lovlies, haven’t even heard of a spanking party because I haven’t announced I was going much except in passing. Let me break it down for you.
Spankings everywhere, all the time. I have a LOT of voyeuristic tendencies, so there was so much eye-candy I swear my brain got a cavity. Strappings, canings, otks, some in private, some out in the open in the middle of the ballrooms, some in hallways of hotel rooms. Girls acting like brats. guys acting like they could fix the brattiness, and good times had by all. In the day you go to dinners and activities and all sorts of goofy events to spank or get spanked as much as possible or just meet a ton of new friends, and then at night you go upstairs and party with them in whole floors of hotel rooms that the hotel sectioned off for us. You go into one hotel room, then out and into another, chatting, eating, dancing, goofing around, and of course, getting spanked…. Or seeing it. You watch it everywhere–amazing panties, bare bottoms, and of course, so many implements I could talk about them all day.
And you know what the best thing was?
Even if you’re just having a conversation and chilling out, you’re having the conversation with another spanko. Do you know what that’s like? Being excepted already about your deepest, darkest secret before you even form a friendship with that person? Knowing they struggled to hide it like you did, that they used to look up spanking in the dictionary when they were kids, too, that there’s something about it that makes our little brains obsessed by it, etc… It’s relieving, actually, to know that there’s so many people like yourself out there and to be surrounded by them. This party had over 240 people in attendance. Holy moly… It was like being in a huge 4-day-long frat party, where you’re a card-carrying member to a secret club. Nowhere else can a spanko be so truly accepted.
I don’t have any pictures, which sucks because I so wish I could show you what was going on. BUT not having pictures speaks for itself–you don’t have to worry at these things. The BBW organizers were absolutely amazing about jumping in there like rule-ninjas whenever someone was taking out a camera in a main room. You can go to these things and feel 100% safe about your identity staying perfectly secret.
Memories were made. James gave me a discipline spanking in our room with about 10 observers at one point. I think when I look back on it in a few weeks–without blushing uncontrollably at how many people saw my full nakie-ness and how many people could see my embarrassment and exposure–I think I will consider that as really, really hot. 😉 It’ll be one of those awesome things I’ll be looking back and blushing about until I’m in my eighties!
There were so many friends there–some I’d met before, and some not–and I feel so strongly about them right now I feel my heart might give birth to a fuzzy bunny rabbit or something. I can’t describe how amazing these people are. And playing with them–some I got to ‘play’ with a few times–was no less than a privilege. I felt like a kid in a candy shop.
God, except the internet, I can’t think of anything to complain about. It’s weird… I love to complain, so not being able to bitch and moan about something is saying a lot. Oh! I thought about something! I didn’t get into the schoolgirl’s party–they capped it at 14 girls or something and I didn’t even come close to getting my name on the list in time. Urggh. I wanted to go so bad! Grrr!
One thing I need to work on–my tolerance. It’s so weird–there are parts on my body that are sooo resilient to pain. Not my ass, though. My ass is extremely sensitive to touch. Poor Mike Tanner had to spank me like a 10 year old child (he was so nice because when he’s spanking regular, it’s like–wow. It can stir up stomach butterflies big-time) with his strop and still I whined up a storm (don’t get me wrong, it was totally fun and I would have been so sorry if I’d missed it. I’m just a whiny person). If there was a wimp-award I would have won it. Other girls were taking it like pros, full force, and coming back for more. I wish I could have played four times as much as I did, at least.
Anyway, folks–I’ll brag more later. I have 2 books to complete by June 21st somehow, and unless I get a fearie godmother soon, that means it’ll have to be me. I’m also the correspondent for the Cherry Red Report on this party so I’ll go into even more specifics about this party’s particular flavor of awesomeness.