I was watching one of my favorite shows, 30-Rock, and they make fun of this “Catch Phrase” where they list a common complaint of a man and say it’s a “deal breaker”. IE: If your man wears a big diamsond necklace that says “Pussy” on it—that’s a Deal-Breaker, Ladies!” It’s equivalent to Jeff Foxworthy’s “Redneck” jokes, but as I was watching, I couldn’t help but realize that there’s so many “deal breakers” that happen in our community, as well. Here’s a few.
Askin’ More Than He’s Doin’? – That’s a DD Deal-Breaker, Ladies!
Many women get taken advantage of as soon as she makes it quite obvious that she’s a submissive, and wants a dominant boyfriend/husband. What happens is they think they can boss you around, because as soon as you say anything, than you’re being “uppity” and “need a spanking”. Don’t let them get away with this. A TRUE HOH will never ask more of you than he does of himself—ever. He’s a problem fixer—not a problem dealer.
Is he spendin’ your dough instead of savin’ your dough? That’s a DD Deal-Breaker, Ladies!
I know that you keep hearing “Carpe Diem”, with Oprah and those like her saying that you need to “live in the moment”. And it’s true—you should. But always be mindful of the future—it’s not going away just because you’re ignoring it. A good HOH will not spend all your money on a video game and then gasp when you buy a nice pair of shoes. He SHOULD monitor your spending, but he should also be monitoring his own. That doesn’t mean be cheap—it means be frugal—wisely frugal. A good HOH always has future goals that he knows will come and when that time comes, you shouldn’t have to worry about it, because the HOH has already made proper provisions.
Is he grippin’ school by the fingernails? That’s a DD Deal-Breaker, Ladies!
I see this happen a lot because James is still in Grad school. It’s disconcerning to me James is working as hard to get through as quickly as possible, while still making sure that he has enough experience and connections so that he can easily get a job when he is finished, but there’s so many that seem like they would be satisfied being in school forever. And it’s not just the aerospace department—my friend has the same problem who’s a biology grad student—he’s been working on his masters for YEARS now. Ph.Ds take a long time, but if they’re full-time students, it should NOT take more than eight years (That’s six years after undergrad; 10 years in college total).
A lot of the reason why they do this is because they’re afraid of that next step, they’re afraid of the real-world, they’re afraid of making decisions and they’re afraid of leaving their friends, and the girlfriend/wife/children be damned. It’s selfish and immature. A good HOH will always put the needs of his family above his own personal desires and fears. Always.
This will hopefully be a repeating series. For you DD-dreamers, check back soon for more reality-check deal-breakers. It’s important that before you ask someone to be an HOH, for them to ALREADY be an HOH. You can’t change a man.