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Was it even a month that I wrote that I wouldn’t tell my mother in law about my lifestyle until I was pregnant with her second—not first, that’s too soon—grandchild? Yeah, I’m a lying liar who lies, obviously. Because we told her this last weekend.


Yeah. I know. CRAZY. It’s my fault we had to tell her, actually. We were staying at her house when I got the letter from Bethany, with my promotion. And OF COURSE I had to tell my folks right away. I told James, “I have to tell mom and dad,” and he snorted. “No, wait—I have to tell ALLISON!” I decided; Allison’s my last roommate who I’ve adopted as the sister I’ve never had.

“No,” he said, sighing. “Wait to tell Allison until we get home, alright? We only have so much time, and…”

“Alright,” I said, thinking how odd it was that he was fine with me telling my parents about my promotion but not Allison—I talk just as long with my parents. I was excited about telling them, you see: they would be very interested to know that I now had a “real job” and might now stop mailing me job opening posts from craigslist.

What I misunderstood was that he didn’t want me telling ANYBODY until we left his mother’s house. The walls are like PAPER. I don’t know what magical thing happens there—but it the walls do NOTHING to trap sound. And so, when I was talking about me being promoted, James’ mom, James’ mom, overheard this. She didn’t say anything, but she heard.

I’m going to pause here to clarify what everyone around us thinks I actually DO:

Allison & Travis: Best Friends. There are no secrets between us. They know everything.

My Family: Knows that I work for a specialty erotica company, and are fine with it. I also have informed them that I don’t want them in my business, and I don’t want to tell them which one. I assured them they wouldn’t like it. They DO NOT know that I’m into spanking. If they eventually do find out, however, I’m sure they’ll be released to know we’re not into something crazy, like furries or golden showers. Because I’m going to assume that they’ve already prepared themselves for the worst, kinkiest thing in history.

James’ Friends & Family: Don’t know about the erotica and don’t know about the spanking. They think I’m a simple housewife that occasionally maintains a “friend’s blog”.

So: this conversation she overheard, even though I never mentioned “erotica”, qued James’ mom to the fact that I’ve been lying and that I HAD a job for awhile and I’ve now been PROMOTED.

James comes in furious: he assumed I understood his meaning about the no phone calls to ANYBODY because of the WALLS. So, James makes me go on a car-ride. This doesn’t mean anything good—he fully plans to spank me to a pinnacle that I am not prepared for; especially because I’m too stupid to even think I’ve done anything wrong. But I did know this much by now: James’ mom heard EVERYTHING.

Because I can’t come up with a good excuse about “what I do” I just told James that we should tell his mother. James calms down when he realizes I wasn’t blatantly defying him and decides not to spank me.

So, we went home, I took a shower, and James told his mother about the spanking.

It did not go well. Lunch with the extended family that hour was very awkward. And I’m new to the family and the “in law”, so it’s naturally awkward for me, anyway! His mother was noticablly upset–enough to make James’ father think it was about him somehow. ( James wants to tell his father, too… But I’m very uncomfortable with that. I’m not as close to his father. I don’t think he requires as much information as his mother does.)

So—there was a slight family upset.

But, James went in back with his mom and they got to talking about it and I think James’ mom actually understands it—that it’s for discipline, and for sex, and everything else, and it’s HOW WE MET. It must have been a real “OH! I SEE!” moment for her.

HOWEVER: We’re STILL lying, so we don’t even get to feel good about “the truth”.

Because we can’t tell James’ mom about the erotica portion of what I do. She would think that there was something morally wrong about it. James made it sound that everything my company publishes is all of good Christian values with no sex before marriage and all of that—something she would agree with. God, I hope she never goes to and reads ANYTHING by Darla Phelps (who write a LOT of age-play), or that story about the Alien that trains his “human” pet with a bunch of spankings—as good as that story is (I think it’s called “Bach” or Bach: A pet story” or “Bach’s Pet”… It’s actually strangely good. You judge yourself slightly when you’re reading it, but it’s good nonetheless.) ANYWAY—I do NOT just publish CDD stuff.

AND James told her that I write this Blog and promised to give her the link for it.

NO. I know what you’re thinking, and NO. We will NOT show her this blog.

I doubt the blog where I complain about how much her daughter is in need of a spanking would go well, to say the least. So, I CREATED A NEW BLOG. It’s just like this one, only with only 2/3s of the posts and no “naked” pictures. Very PG-rated. It’s called “The DD Life” at Talk about non-explicit, too—the banner has COFFEE in it. COFFEE—the least erotic thing on the planet! Sigh. What a pain in the ass. I doubt she’ll even ever read it. Would you, if your daughter in law was writing about her personal spanking experiences? No. Of course you wouldn’t.

I feel strange, I feel awkward, and I have NO idea of how it’s going to go when she visits us this weekend. I wish I could just bury my head in the sand, but instead, I have to hope for the best. I asked James if we could go on like we’ve never told her.

“This isn’t the sort of thing you can pretend you didn’t tell someone,” he told me yesterday.

“Are you kidding?” I said incredulously. “This is EXACTLY the sort of thing you pretend you didn’t tell someone!”

So, folks: I’ll promise to keep you informed as to how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please.

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