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I’m not a fan of backseat spankings, so I’m happy that yesterday was really only my first one. First one for discipline, at least. Fooling-around spankings are good wherever I can get them!

I didn’t agree with the spanking—that’s right. I don’t agree with every one of my husband’s rules. Especially when they quell my attempts at side-seat driving.

Although driving is not my husband’s strong suit, I hate driving so much that I still have him drive us everywhere. It’s not that he can’t be great driver when he focuses—he’s just too smart to be a good driver most of the time. The inability to focus on mundane tasks is typical in geniuses—and yes, I think my husband’s a genius. Albert Einstein, for example, upon visiting the US got into a train station, and lost his wife. After he finally found her, he lost his tickets. Eventually he found those, too, but the man was notorious for getting lost in his own neighborhood. He was a space cadet. And my husband can be one, too.

Simply put, I’ve saved our lives with my side-seat driving more than once, but occasionally it will drive my husband up the wall. And he starts making threats. Yesterday was, “Korey, if you say one more thing about driving, unless it’s life or death, I swear I will pull over, take you into the backseat, pull down your pants, and spank you.”

So, I HEARD the threat, but it obviously didn’t process, because by the time we were leaving Costco, I felt he was trying to go to the exit line on the right instead of the much shorter one on the left. And I said, “Oh—you want to go to the one on the left. The right gets really backed up.”

He gave me a sideways glare and a sigh. “I’m gonna let that go. Last warning.”

So, about three minutes later, I said, “We’re in a turn-only lane.” Of course, he had just realized that himself.

Again, he gave me an annoyed look, but I shrugged. He didn’t say anything.

Two second later, I noticed the car to the left of us had its turn signal on. I was sure James didn’t see it because he was currently trying to get into the right, lane, too, and the car trying to get in our lane was crowding us. “Be careful of that guy. He’s trying to get into this lane,” I announced, pointing.

Before I knew it, he pulled into a parking lot. “That’s it!” he said.

“James!” I snapped. “We are a block from home. Let’s just go home. This is not funny.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t promise you a spanking at home. Even though I warned you, I let you off twice!” He found a spot and turned off the car. “Get into the backseat.”

I argued angrily for awhile, but eventually I put down the pizza on my lap, and met him in the backseat.

Backseat spankings are pretty uncomfortable, for the following reasons.

  1. It’s hard to take down your pants when you’re not standing up.
  2. It’s hard to get pulled over a knee.
  3. There’s no space for your legs.
  4. The spanking, when administered, is too high on the butt.

Not exactly the romantic spanking you might have read about. Still, it was a LONG spanking. If it was actually administered on my sit-spot I might have had problems today. But eventually, it was over, and I was still angry even though James tried to make off-topic conversation during the last block to the house.

I pouted for awhile, and then made fun of James for being a brute. “I still don’t agree with the spanking,” I claimed a few hours later. He thought about it for a moment, because I normally agree with his spankings after I’d been given one. “I just have to follow through. Normally, I don’t mind your moment-to-moment commentary on my driving. Sometimes, though, I do mind, and that was one of the times. However, I suppose you think we were in actual danger, even though I disagree. And because you said something because you thought we were in danger, I apologize.” He didn’t’ look too guilty. “I let you off twice before that,” he finally shrugged. But, an apology is an apology.

Still, I’m just glad he chose an isolated enough parking lot that nobody was witnessed to my spanking, or else my ego would be much harder to repair. But it goes to show—no matter where we are, James is obviously going to follow through on his threats—which is a really good HOH tendency, in my opinion.

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